"Leap, and the net will appear."
And do you know that GUARANTEED, every time I leap into the void, that net catches me with the utmost grace. This circus-act of courage and blind faith has been repeated so often in my life, that I wonder why I backpedal into my coward's corner as often as I do. Surely by now I should know?!
My most recent spiritual 'bollemakiesie'* was a decision to steal back my Destiny from the numbing mediocrity of marriedness. And with no space, in every sense of the word: time, studio-space, heart/mind space, I made the painfully radical decision to choose only ONE passion to focus on. I could simply not be :
1. Mama Mia Extraordinaire
2. Online art-decor 'butik' designer/maker/owner
3. Freelance writer
4. Blogger (for myself + other sites)
5. Fine artist
And so, I chose to concentrate everything I have on my writing. Why? Our house is (and I'm not drama-queening it for a change!) is the size of a large-ish caravan. So, men, I've now proven that size does INDEED matter. There is simply no space AT ALL to function as a productive artist. At least with my writing, all I need is my laptop and a dongle. (Sounds lavishly naughty, doesn't it? But it's only a small rectangle of internet-conducting plastic...)
23 highly illicit cardboard boxes from the backdoor of our local supermarket later, and my studio was sifted and sorted, bittersweetly boxed for another time and place. But - another proverb that rings so true for me - "Get rid of the old to make space for the new" : and so, with this letting-go, there was space for something brandnew and beautiful to take it's place: so when I worked (with none of the guilty, distracting obligation of my waiting studio draining my energy/time) all weekend on researching paying writing markets and setting up my writing resume, it should have been no great surprise that after submitting an application to write for a Canadian vintage-fashion magazine only yesterday afternoon, that I woke up to their excited letter of acceptance in my inbox this morning! (Thereby proving BOTH proverbs irrevocably foolproof, reassuring and inspiring!)
(And wasn't that a nifty little method of bragging? *wink*)
PS. This photo of Layla reminds me of the photo I sent to the creative director of the magazine, describing Layla's emerging fabsession (fashion+obsession) --- in this photo, you can see the peach ribbon on her hair: she saw me packing it away into a box, and specifically asked me to put it in her hair in a bow -- even though I've never done that for her before. Amazing! Oh yes - and that also makes me think of her sitting on the kitchen counter two nights ago: and while she was sampling the avo with much lip-smacking, she announced, out of the blue: "Hmm, this is fantastic!" Quite remarkable for a 2 year old. (Well, this proud mommy thinks so anyway!)
PPS. I (unashamedly and with greenest envy) stole the title for this blog from a Pulitzer-winning article. Google it (and set aside 20minutes to slowly savour and digest it) A writer-friend in the States sent this nuggety-pearly wisdom my way - and I'm : grateful.
'Men must live and create. Live to the point of tears.' Albert Camus